PAVEMENTS/HEDGES IN CRATFIELD
So I received my letter from the Parish Council and soon found out it wasn’t only me…
But being a dutiful and respectful Serf to the Parish Council I brandished my best hedge cutters (my new electric ones because I’ve become all environmentally friendly recently) and attempted to fulfill their commands.
Much amusement arose from others doing the same (or saying “no way one earth” would they be doing it) but it became quite a talking point.
So much so I felt obliged to write a letter to the Parish Council assuring them of my continued subservience even though their dictates weren’t being observed by some of the other serfs.
I sort of felt the need to be the Alpha Serf of the village in a kind of sad way and let them know I was their real Alpha Serf in case anyone else caved in and sub-served to them before me.
But then I ran into a problem…..
The pavement doesn’t actually go to the Post Box.
Not by quite a long way, longer than my little stretch of pavement that I had dutifully, and subserviently cut the hedge next to.
So I thought I’d drown my disappointment at not being able to actually post a letter (yes, I resorted to email instead) by walking down to the pop-up pub in the village hall…..
So I then ran into my second problem…..
The pavement doesn’t actually go to the Village Hall.
Nowhere near it by over ½ Km, it makes the Post Box look quite advantaged.
In fact there isn’t even a road to the Village Hall, just a third world dirt track (at time of writing), more potholes and puddles than tarmac, that could have led to serious injuries if I had tried to walk back down it (after the pop-up pub closed) in the dark (no street lights either but this letter is about pavements and hedges so let’s not get started about street lights….).
So I thought, well I have a few bottled beers indoors, I won’t risk the third world dirt track, I’ll drink safely at home and recycle the bottles…..
And there’s my third problem….
No pavement to the bottle bank, I would have to walk down the middle of a 60MPH road to get there.
In fact it seems the only public amenity left in the village (since the Poacher closed down) that actually has a pavement to it is the Children’s Playing Field.
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Rod Sugden.